Why
by imp01
Summary: Tag for the episode, Ties My Father... There are two versions of the story. The first is an edited version of the second one which I wrote in highschool. The first was written after reality set in.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Why? – Tag from Ties My Father Sold Me.

Author: Michelle Wood

Disclaimer: The characters do not belong to me, nor do I profit from the story, etc. This is a work of fan fiction.

Ratings and Warnings: G

Author's Notes: Tag from Ties My Father Sold Me. What happens to Mark and Milt after Mark reads Sonny's note? There are two versions to this story. This is the version that developed after a dose of reality kicked in. The other version was written during my teenage years and has a more emotional Mark.

**Why?**

The Judge watched Mark's eyes as he read the letter from Sonny. He saw the deep sadness and pain that filled them. Hardcastle was not surprised that Sonny walked out of Mark's life again, but he was surprised at the letter. _How can any man do this to his own kid, let alo__ne do it twice. The kid doesn't deserve this._

"Come on, I'll take you to a ball game." Hardcastle put his right hand on Mark's shoulder and directed him out of the dinner theater.

Mark was in shock. _How could he do this to me, again? How could I be so stupid to think that he actually wanted to know me? I really must be a screw-up if my own father won't stick around. I never should have come._

"No, thanks. I just want to go home," responded McCormick quietly. _At least, I have a home with Hardcastle. Just don't forget, you're not a substitute. _

"Tomorrow, kid. Tonight, we'll go back to the hotel and order room service."

"Thanks, but I'm not hungry. I'll just finish packing and go to bed."

"I'm sorry that things didn't work out," started Hardcastle, before Mark cut him off.

"It's okay, Judge. I should have known better." Mark kept walking back to the hotel, not bothering to look at the judge. "I wasn't good enough when I was five years old, why should twenty-five years change things?" said Mark sullenly.

"That's not true," said the judge. "Just 'cause he walked out on…"

"Please, Judge. Not now!" shouted an angry Mark, as he picked up the pace. He was practically running back to the hotel and Hardcastle was trying to keep up with him.

Within a few minutes, McCormick saw the hotel and slowed down to a brisk walk. He entered the lobby and quickly took the stairs to their room, not wanting to wait for the elevator. He needed to be alone. Hardcastle sensed that McCormick needed a moment to pull it together, so he went to the bar and ordered a drink.

Once in the room, Mark took off the jacket and tie. As soon as the tie was off, he flung it across the room, almost as if it hurt to touch it. _Still owe you ten bucks for this thing. Hah!_ He sat down on the bed and looked again at the letter. _Why? All I want is a father. Hardcastle made it clear that he didn't want the job. Am I so bad that nobody wants me? Why?_

Mark struggled to control his emotions but he didn't have the energy to hold back any longer. He opened the suitcase that had been sitting at the foot of the bed and started throwing his clothes across the room. Once the suitcase was empty, Mark started to pull the blankets and sheets off the bed. He was so frustrated and had no constructive way to release the feelings that were trapped inside. Mark had grabbed the pillow and was getting ready to throw it, when he suddenly sank down to the floor with his back against the bed. His knees were drawn up and he wrapped his arms around the pillow..

Hardcastle took a few sips of the beer that was placed before him at the bar. _Oh, kid. I wish I could make things better for you. I wish that Sonny had spent more time with you. Hell, he should have told you in person that he wasn't interested in being a father. It would have been easier than reading it. Life sure seems to send you nothing but curve balls. _Hardcastle took another sip of beer. _Well, time to go see how he's doing. Something tells me that it is going to be a long trip home._

Hardcastle stood outside their room and slowly opened the door, not knowing what condition he would find McCormick in. What he saw shocked him. Mark's clothes and bedding were thrown all over the room. At first he didn't see Mark. "What the hell?" growled Hardcastle, as he stepped inside, suddenly angry with the kid. "McCormick!"

After closing the door, he noticed McCormick, sitting on the floor between the two beds. Hardcastle's anger softened as he made his way over to McCormick. He had never seen the ex-con this upset. Hardcastle sat on the bed across from McCormick, who never moved and remained silent. He stared straight ahead.

"Ahh, kid. Come on," said Hardcastle, as he tried to pull the pillow away from McCormick. Mark didn't release the pillow, nor did he look at the judge. _Sure the kid could be moody at times, but this, this is new to me. Now what the hell am I to do?_ _Can't leave him like this all night. _

Hardcastle shifted his position so that he was sitting alongside McCormick. He carefully put his hand on Mark's shoulder. The judge didn't expect Mark to respond but was surprised when Mark shrugged it off. _Okay, looks like now is not a good time to talk. Wait a few more minutes and try again._

McCormick continued to stare at nothing. His blue eyes showed a mixture of emotions – anger, frustration, regret, and sadness. His jaw was clenched and the facial muscles twitched.

"Mark," said Hardcastle quietly. He waited a couple minutes.

When he received no response, Hardcastle decided to move the pillow. Mark refused to let go of it, but did look up at the judge and asked, "Why?" in a tight voice.

"Why what? Why did Sonny walk away?" asked Hardcastle. The upset, young man nodded his head. "I don't know why he did it. All I know is this. Sonny doesn't deserve a great kid like you as his son."

Mark looked again at the judge and released a deep sigh. "I'm not a great kid. I'm a screw-up," he replied, looking back down.

_Oh, it's definitely going to be a long trip back_. "McCormick, I didn't pick a screw-up to be my Tonto. I chose the best candidate, one with lots of potential," declared Hardcastle.

"Really?" asked McCormick, after a couple minutes of silence. He was starting to tremble a bit from the emotional release and the stress of the afternoon.

"Yeah. Come on, let's get off the floor," ordered Hardcastle as he stood up and offered McCormick a hand. Mark looked at it for a moment and then took the offered hand, allowing the judge to pull him off the floor.

Hardcastle looked at him closely and said, "You look terrible."

Mark looked around the room and apologized for the mess. He moved to pick up the bedding when Hardcastle stopped him. "Come on, lie down. Use the other bed. I'll clean-up the mess."

"But, Judge…"

"But nothing. Just for once, will you listen to me and do as I ask," commanded Hardcastle in a gruff voice.

Mark looked into Hardcastles eyes, saw the concern for him, and nodded. He still held the pillow but curled on his side and closed his eyes. Hardcastle pulled the comforter over Mark's shoulders. "Thanks," whispered Mark.

"Get some sleep, kiddo. We got a long flight home tomorrow," replied the judge quietly.

"Home," mumbled McCormick as he drifted off to sleep.

"Home, kiddo. Home." Hardcastle picked up the clothes that Mark had thrown, neatly folded them, and placed them in the suitcase. He made the bed and lay down on it, but wasn't ready to sleep yet. _Guess you haven't really had one in a long time. Probably not since your mother died. Well, you got one now._

At 6:30 the next morning, Hardcastle woke to the sound of the shower. McCormick was up, the bed was made, and a pot of coffee from room service was waiting on the small table in their room. Hardcastle poured himself a cup and wondered what McCormick's mood was going to be for the return flight. As he drank his coffee, he noticed Sonny's note in the trash, along with the tie. He picked up both and packed them in his suitcase. _Someday, the kid may want the tie._

As Hardcastle finished his coffee, Mark came out of the bathroom and smiled. "Did you save some for me?"

"Yeah. Did you save any hot water for me?" retorted the judge.

"It's a hotel. There's plenty of hot water." Mark poured himself a cup of coffee and asked, "What time's the flight?"

"Five o'clock. Got plenty of time to do something. Anything you want to do?"

"Yeah, I need to go to Holy Name Cemetery, in Jersey City," answered Mark quietly. "I know it's a long drive, but I need to talk to my mother before we head home."

"Okay, let me get a car." Hardcastle looked at the young man's face and saw the relief in his eyes. "Can you find us a map?"

"Don't need one," replied Mark as he started to put his clothes on. "Just need some flowers"

Hardcastle made the necessary arrangements and grabbed a quick shower, while McCormick ate breakfast. As soon as both were packed, they checked out of the hotel, and picked up the rental car. They were headed north by 9 am. It was a two and a half hour drive to Jersey City. McCormick was quiet the entire time, other then than when he needed to give directions.

Once they arrived at the cemetery, Mark found his mother's grave. He placed the flowers on the headstone and knelt beside it. Hardcastle watched from a distance as Mark talked with his mother. After an hour, Mark placed a kiss on his fingers and touched them gently to the headstone. He got up and walked back to Hardcastle.

"Thanks, for everything this week. I know it hasn't been easy for either of us…" Mark stopped, not sure what to say next.

"It's okay. I can understand the need to know," answered Hardcastle. "Now, are you ready to go home? We need to go now if we are going to catch the flight home."

"Yeah. Let me drive and we'll have plenty of time to spare," grinned Mark.

"Nope. I wanna make sure we get you home in one piece. Come on," gruffed the judge, heading for the rental car. _Things are going to be all right. He just needs some time, but it'll work out._

Mark followed the judge back to the car and got in. _You really are something else, Hardcastle. Not only did you not say anything about last night, you even drove me up here to see my mother. Can't tell you what that means to me. Just knowing that someone cares and doesn't think of me as a screw-up is worth more than any tie that my father could give me. Thanks, Hardcase._

The end.


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Why? – Tag from Ties My Father Sold Me.

Author: Michelle Wood

Disclaimer: The characters do not belong to me, nor do I profit from the story, etc. This is a work of fan fiction.

Ratings and Warnings: G,

Author's Notes: Tag from Ties My Father Sold Me. What happens to Mark and Milt after Mark reads Sonny's note? This is the original version of the story. Consider it to be set in more of an alternate universe with more emotional characters.

**Why?**

The Judge watched Mark's eyes as he read the letter from Sonny. He saw the deep sadness and pain that filled them. Hardcastle was not surprised that Sonny walked out of Mark's life, again, but he was surprised at the letter. _How can any man, do this to his own kid, let alone do it twice. The kid doesn't deserve this._

"Come on, I'll take you to a ball game." Hardcastle put his right arm around Mark's shoulder and directed him out of the dinner theater.

Mark was in shock. _How could he do this to me, again? How could I be so stupid to think that he actually wanted to know me? I really must be a screw-up if my own father won't stick around. I never should have come._

"No, thanks. I just want to go home," responded McCormick quietly. _At least, I have a home with Hardcastle. Just don't forget, you're not a substitute. _

"Tomorrow, kid. Tonight, we'll go back to the hotel and order room service."

"Thanks, but I'm not hungry. I'll just finish packing and go to bed."

"Mark, I'm sorry that things didn't work out," started Hardcastle, before Mark cut him off.

"It's okay, Judge. I should have known better." Mark kept walking back to the hotel, not bothering to look at the judge. "I wasn't good enough when I was five years old, why should twenty-five years change things," said Mark sullenly.

"That's not true," said the judge. "Just 'cause he walked out on…"

"Please, Judge. Not now!" cried Mark as he picked up the pace. He was practically running back to the hotel and Hardcastle was trying to keep up with him.

Within a few minutes, McCormick saw the hotel and slowed down to a brisk walk. He entered the lobby and quickly took the stairs to their room, not wanting to wait for the elevator. He needed to be alone before the tears came. Hardcastle sensed that McCormick needed a moment to pull it together, so he went to the bar and ordered a drink.

Once in the room, Mark took off the jacket and tie. As soon as the tie was off, he flung it across the room, almost as if it hurt to touch it. _Still owe you ten bucks for this thing. Hah!_ He sat down on the bed and looked again at the letter. _Why? All I want is a father. Hardcastle made it clear that he didn't want the job. Am I so bad that nobody wants me? Why?_

Mark struggled to control his emotions but he didn't have the energy to hold back any longer. He opened the suitcase that had been sitting at the foot of the bed and started throwing his clothes across the room. Once the suitcase was empty, Mark started to pull the blankets and sheets off the bed. He was so frustrated and had no constructive way to release the feelings that were trapped inside. Mark had grabbed the pillow and was getting ready to throw it, when he suddenly sank down to the floor with his back against the bed. His knees were drawn up and he wrapped his arms around the pillow and clung to it.

Hardcastle took a few sips of the beer that was placed before him at the bar. _Oh, kid. I wish I could make things better for you. I wish that Sonny had spent more time with you. Hell, he should have told you in person that he wasn't interested in being a father. It would have been easier that reading it. Why does life seem to send you nothing but curve balls? _Hardcastle took another sip of beer. _Well, time to go see how Mark's doing. Something tells me that it is going to be a long trip home. _

Hardcastle stood outside their room and slowly opened the door, not knowing what condition he would find McCormick in. What he saw shocked him. Mark's clothes and bedding were thrown all over the room. At first he didn't see Mark. "What the hell?" growled Hardcastle, as he stepped inside, angry with the mess.

After closing the door, he noticed the huddled form of McCormick, sitting on the floor between the two beds. Hardcastle's anger softened and he slowly made his way over to McCormick, careful not to make any loud sounds or sudden movements. He had never seen the ex-con this upset and didn't want to startle him. Hardcastle knelt down in front of McCormick, who never moved and remained silent. He stared straight ahead, clutching the pillow, with tears running down his cheeks.

"Ahh, kid. Come on," said Hardcastle gently, as he tried to pull the pillow away from McCormick. Mark didn't release the pillow, nor did he see the judge. Hardcastle had never seen McCormick like this. _Sure the kid could be moody at times, but this, this is new to me. Now what the hell am I to do?_ _Can't leave him like this all night. _

Hardcastle shifted his position so that he was sitting alongside McCormick. He carefully slid his arm around Mark's shoulder. The judge didn't expect Mark to respond and was surprised when Mark turned his head and laid it on his shoulder. As soon as Mark's head was resting on the judge's shoulder, Mark broke into large, wracking sobs. Hardcastle pulled Mark tighter and just held him. The judge didn't know what to say or do so he decided to let Mark set the pace.

Mark cried hard for ten minutes. The pillow was drenched. Hardcastle noticed the change in intensity. "Mark," said Hardcastle quietly. He waited a couple minutes.

When he received no response, Hardcastle decided to move the pillow. Mark refused to let go of it, but did look up at the judge and asked, "Why?" in a strained, child-like voice.

"Why what? Why did Sonny walk away?" asked Hardcastle, again in a soft tone. The distraught, young man nodded his head. "I don't know why he did it. All I know is this. Sonny doesn't deserve a great kid like you as his son."

Mark looked again at the judge and released a deep sigh. "I'm not a great kid. I'm a screw-up," he replied, looking back down. There were still tears trickling down his cheek.

_Oh, it's definitely going to be a long trip back_. "McCormick, I didn't pick a screw-up to be my Tonto. I chose the best candidate, one with lots of potential," declared Hardcastle.

"Really?" asked McCormick, after a couple minutes of silence. He was starting to tremble a bit from the emotional release and the stress of the afternoon.

"Yeah. Come on, let's get off the floor," ordered Hardcastle as he stood up and offered McCormick a hand. Mark looked at it for a moment and then took the offered hand, allowing the judge to pull him off the floor.

Hardcastle looked at him closely and said, "Lie down on the bed and get some sleep. You look terrible."

Mark looked around the room and apologized for the mess. He moved to pick up the bedding when Hardcastle stopped him. "Come on, use the other bed. I'll clean-up the mess."

"But, Judge…"

"But nothing. Just for once, will you listen to me and do as I ask," commanded Hardcastle in a gruff voice.

Mark looked into Hardcastles eyes, saw the concern and love for him, and nodded. He still clutched the pillow but curled on his side and closed his eyes. Hardcastle pulled the comforter over Mark's shoulders. "Thanks," whispered Mark.

"Get some sleep, kiddo. We got a long flight home tomorrow," replied the judge.

"Home," mumbled McCormick as he drifted off to sleep.

"Home, kiddo. Home." Hardcastle picked up the clothes that Mark had thrown, neatly folded them, and placed them in the suitcase. He made the bed and lay down on it, but wasn't ready to sleep yet. _Guess you haven't really had one in a long time. Probably not since your mother died. Well, you got one now._

At 6:30 the next morning, Hardcastle woke to the sound of the shower. McCormick was up, the bed was made, and a pot of coffee from room service was waiting on the small table in their room. Hardcastle poured himself a cup and wondered what McCormick's mood was going to be for the return flight. As he drank his coffee, he noticed Sonny's note in the trash, along with the tie. He picked up both and packed them in his suitcase. _Someday, the kid may want the tie._

As Hardcastle finished his coffee, Mark came out of the bathroom and smiled. "Did you save some for me?"

"Yeah. Did you save any hot water for me?" retorted the judge.

"It's a hotel. There's plenty of hot water." Mark poured himself a cup of coffee and asked, "What time's the flight?"

"Five o'clock. Got plenty of time to do something. Anything you want to do?"

"Yeah, I need to go to Holy Name Cemetery, in Jersey City," answered Mark quietly. "I know it's a long drive, but I need to talk to my mother before we head home."

"Okay, let me get a car." Hardcastle looked at the young man's face and saw the relief in his eyes. "Can you find us a map?"

"Don't need one," replied Mark as he started to put his clothes on. "Just need to get some flowers"

Hardcastle made the necessary arrangements and grabbed a quick shower, while McCormick ate breakfast. As soon as both were packed, they checked out of the hotel, and picked up the rental car. They were headed north by 9 am. It was a two and a half hour drive to Jersey City. McCormick was quiet the entire time, other then when he needed to give directions.

Once they arrived at the cemetery, Mark found his mother's grave. He placed the flowers on the headstone and knelt beside it. Hardcastle watched from a distance as Mark talked with his mother. After an hour, Mark placed a kiss on his fingers and touched them gently to the headstone. He got up and walked back to Hardcastle.

"Thanks, for everything this week. I know it hasn't been easy for either of us…" Mark stopped, not sure what to say next.

"It's okay. I can understand the need to know," answered Hardcastle. "Now, are you ready to go home? We need to go now if we are going to catch the flight home."

"Yeah. Let me drive and we'll have plenty of time to spare," grinned Mark.

"Nope. I wanna make sure we get you home in one piece. Come on," gruffed the judge, heading for the rental car. _Things are going to be all right. He just needs some time, but it'll work out._

Mark followed the judge back to the car and got in. _You really are something else, Hardcastle. Not only did you not say anything about last night, you even drove me up here to see my mother. Can't tell you what that means to me. Just knowing that someone cares and doesn't think of me as a screw-up is worth more than any tie that my father could give me. Thanks, Hardcase._

The end.


End file.
